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You Built the Room 'round the Elephant

by Tawni Marshall

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1.
I Was a Ghost Before I Died 03:46
lyrics
I was a ghost before I died. I was a ghost to your eyes. You’d mourn me and I’d play along. You pretend you can’t see me. I pretend you’re not pretending at all. Every time I move it sends a chill right down your spine. Every time I move you seem to lose me in the light. Every time you lose me it’s like you lost me the first time. Every time I come back. If it’s a bad idea, then how was I to know? A ghost goes where it goes until you leave it alone. I was a ghost before I died. I was a ghost to your eyes. It’s like we’re both talking to the wall. You pretend to believe in me. I pretend you’re not pretending at all. Every time I move it sends a chill right down your spine. Every time I move you seem to lose me in the light. Every time you lose me it’s like you lost me the first time. Every time I come back, If it’s a bad idea, then how was I to know? A ghost goes where it goes until you leave it alone. I pretend you're not pretending at all.
2.
Another Sleeve up My Sleeve 02:45
lyrics
Another sleeve up my sleeve when I’ve got nowhere to go. I forget and trick myself. That’s the only trick I know. Don’t hold against me what you can’t hold yourself, and don’t look too closely at the dust that’s gathered on the shelf. What you believe is what you want to believe right up to the end of everything. We’ve always got another song to sing. Your prayers are aimed behind me and I’m staring at the wall at a picture of a dead man who was never really living at all. What you believe is what you want to believe, but I’m more than you will ever perceive. All I want’s a little place for me. All you want’s to see me disappear. A sleeve up my sleeve when I’ve got nowhere to go. I forget and trick myself. That’s the only trick I know.
3.
Hell Below and on the Horizon 03:52
lyrics
I’m resigned to love as much as I can at the end of the world. With Hell below and on the horizon I still want to see what I can help grow. I make the time but I’m on the dime. Sometimes it’s a luxury to feel. The one peace of mind I’ve managed to find is defining the line where it’s real. At so many angles in so many spaces I stand. How could I expect the picture to turn out as I planned? The birds still sing and so will I. So will I. The bells still ring and as they do they shake the dust that rests from their every side. Scatter in beams - Oh to be brought to life from a dream! To shine like sparks in quick darting arcs then settle atop the debris. At so many angles with so many places to land. That’s how we can be so close yet never understand. I was dreaming you were still alive and breathing and you were seeing me for the very first time. And I believe that the joy I was receiving was you loving me across the bounds of time. but all I know is the little pieces I could hold of me that I was bold enough to show you before you died. I’ve killed him way too many times. I’m resigned to love as much as I can at the end of the world.
4.
You Built the Room 'round the Elephant 05:20
lyrics
Now that I’ve felt it, I need more. I couldn’t let it go if I wanted to. If you killed it, you’d kill me for sure. I couldn’t let it go if I wanted to. There’s no other me to know. You’ve got to let it go. Why can’t you let it go? In every memory from before, you didn’t then, but now you know that what’s left of the sin can’t be put back in this skin. Can’t look myself in the - I was high enough was high enough to divine, that most of what I’d ever see would never be mine. If you killed it, you’d kill me for sure. I couldn’t let it go. Why can’t you let it go? In every memory from before, you didn’t then, but now you know that what’s left of the sin can’t be put back in this skin. Can’t even look me in the - I was high enough was high enough to divine, that most of what I’d ever see would never be mine. And most of what I’d ever be ‘d be coming down the line, and you’d know what I mean when I arrive out of time. You’d no what I mean when I arrive out of time. Still, most of what I’d ever be ‘d be coming down the line. You built the room ‘round the elephant. You never asked what the hell I want. You only tell it like it never was. You only tell it like it never was. I kept my hope in an open vial. You held the rope while I walked the wire. To be alone with this broke desire. You only tell it like it like it never was You built the room ‘round the elephant. You never asked what the hell I want. You only tell it like it never was…

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released September 22, 2021

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Tawni Marshall Indianapolis, Indiana

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