Get all 11 Tawni Marshall releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Deadnamed on Santa's Shitlist, Skeleton Woman, The Perfect Time For Christmas (feat. Jacob Marley), What Were My Bones, You Built the Room 'round the Elephant, The Workingtrans Blues, Queerantine, Aries Moon, and 3 more.
1. |
In a Hurried Pose
03:22
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Things get bad
and I get down to laying low.
There's time to sift through the ashes
and rationalize being alone.
I'm not above all the love I've neglected,
I'm just always expecting it'll rain
and beating the clock to the pain.
It's just another day.
Want her so bad.
Want her every way the story goes.
Love her in the broken ways
across the open space in a hurried pose.
My mind can cause me so much trouble
but it can hold so many beautiful things
until they dissolve into unsolved puzzles
and leave me with a pain in my brain.
But I keep trying to see it any other way.
I keep trying to see it any other way.
Want her so bad.
Want her every way the story goes.
Love her in the broken ways
across the open space in a hurried pose.
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2. |
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I came from the great beyond, but my aim was wrong,
and it put me in a body I don't belong.
So I tried to play it off,
because some people say it's wrong
to be the person that you are when you're all alone.
But after the praying's done
and you've laid it out
for a Lord you can't hear through someone else's ears,
you know it's in all your fears,
you know it's in all your love.
I know what I'm not.
But weren't you the favorite son before you gave it up
and became the thing that you were blaming
for failing at love?
I know what you're thinking of.
"This powder's dangerous."
But it's the only thing you've got
that can lift you back up.
And all that your thankful for
while you played the part
and the world was just outside of your reach.
I just want to be in love.
I just want to feel it once.
I know what I'm not.
I came from the great beyond, but my aim was wrong,
and it put me in a body I don't belong.
So I tried to play it off,
because some people say it's wrong
to be the person that you are when you're all alone.
But after the praying's done
and you've laid it out
for a Lord you can't hear through someone else's ears,
you know it's in all your fears,
you know it's in all your love.
I know what I'm not.
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3. |
When You're Under Water
05:30
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It gets so much harder
when you're under water;
the unwanted daughter
of an unwanted son.
I turned my back on the starboard
and lost track of the harbor.
It gets so much harder,
the farther you've come.
"Do they love me?" I wonder
from the bad spell I'm under.
It tears the daylight asunder
and leaves my care on the run.
I like to think that I'm stronger,
but I ain't getting no younger.
I made a close friend in hunger
and I wonder what's left to become.
Don't you believe in the things that you see
when you're being deceived
by the way that they feel?
Who's gonna be there for real?
Who's gonna stay?
It gets so much harder
when you're under water;
the unwanted daughter
of an unwanted son.
I turned my back on the starboard
and lost track of the harbor.
It gets so much harder,
the farther you've come.
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4. |
Broken Ladders
01:52
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God knows who's to blame
for every time the blame is mine.
I'm not for sale
until after the check's been signed.
You're all tied up
until I can help you out of a bind.
We sing our sadness
and cling to the madness
of those who'll have us.
Those sorry bastards.
It's the thought that matters.
Broken ladders split
right down the middle
until there's no way up
and out of all the shit.
In my backward way
lackluster days on end year round,
but on my frontward face a smile
I wrap my head around.
And in between a rabbit hole.
God knows how far down.
We sing our sadness
and cling to the madness
of those who'll have us.
Those sorry bastards.
It's the thought that matters.
Broken ladders split
right down the middle
until there's no way up
and out of all the shit.
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5. |
An Introspective Devil
03:31
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Sweating, full of pressure
like a kettle that's been left on the stove.
I've got my feet to the fire
until the fire becomes a whistling song.
There ain't no way to circumvent
the places I've been and the things that I've done.
I'm an introspective devil.
The hell inside me is the hell I call home.
Drawing a line in the quicksand.
Slowly sinking while on the brink of taking a stand.
There ain't no misdirection or deflection
when it comes to your soul.
There ain't no way to make it up or to dress it down.
It's the way that you are.
There ain't no way to circumvent
the places I've been and the things that I've done.
I'm an introspective devil.
The hell inside me is the hell I call home.
Drawing a line in the quicksand.
This is mine. You could never understand.
Drawing a line in the quicksand.
Slowly sinking while on the brink of taking a stand.
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6. |
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The wood grain of the bar
has been soaking up my tears.
It's echoing with my prayers
as I whisper them in the dark.
I've had this feeling my whole life
like I just stepped off of the wrong flight.
I'll be damned if it ain't been a long night.
It's been a long couple years.
Feeling lonesome as the ocean
which ain't nothing but a notion to me.
Places I'm hoping to see.
People I'm hoping to meet.
The future is open to me
or who I hope I can be.
I'll let you down if you let me.
I'll lift you up if you don't.
I'd do my best to accept you
if you'd just let me belong
in the lesser parts of your days.
Just a thought or two
then you're on your way
as it plays out on your face.
I'm tired of playing a part.
I'm tired of wasting my art.
I'm tired of facing my heart
and knowing it's only me.
I'm trying to get get a new start.
then tear the whole damn thing apart
because if you aren't who you are
then who the hell else are you gonna be?
Feeling lonesome as the ocean
which ain't nothing but a notion to me.
Places I'm hoping to see.
People I'm hoping to meet.
The future is open to me
or who I hope I can be.
I'll let you down if you let me.
I'll lift you up if you don't.
I'd do my best to protect you
if you'd just let me belong
in the lesser parts of your days.
Just a thought or two
then you're on your way
as it plays out on your face.
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7. |
Steady Rock The Coma
03:27
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I don't know.
Sometimes it's like I'm not even here at all.
It feels like I'd be better off alone.
Steady rock the coma.
Camouflage it because the camera's always rolling.
Inside these walls -
The emptiness inside these walls shapes this home.
The emptiness inside my heart shakes my bones
so violently.
My love is a dying plea
as time keeps flying by me.
I'm the same as I was when I wasn't me.
I don't know.
Some notes were never meant to fit into the song,
but the tune, no matter how it's sung,
even when it's wrong,
fits into the rhythm that's been playing through you.
Inside these walls -
The emptiness inside these walls shapes this home.
The emptiness inside my heart shakes my bones
so violently.
My love is a dying plea
as time keeps flying by me.
I'm the same that I was when I wasn't me.
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8. |
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Take a pull from that whiskey
and pass it to me.
You know I see you
and I love what I see.
I've been a fool
who's been feeling lonely
when I'm not alone.
Tell me you missed me.
Or tell me I'm wrong.
Tell me if I wander
where I don't belong.
I've been a fool
who's been feeling lonely
when I'm not alone.
You know I shine a little brighter
the more you're in my heart.
That's because the light burns
down so far in the dark x 2
You can see all my parts.
Is that the part that scares you most?
Show me you love me
whatever way you think you can
and if it's real darlin'
then I guess we'll both understand
that we're only fools
who've been feeling lonely
when we're not alone.
We're only fools
who've been feeling lonely
when we're not alone.
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9. |
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I've been longing for a place
I'm never meant to know or see,
and I've been restless so long
that when I'm blessed it makes a mess of me.
This place ain't my first choice,
but if it's where I'm gonna be
you're goddamn right it's your face, honey,
that I want to see.
The farther down in debt I get
the more I wonder what is free.
I get caught up between who I am
and who it is I'm cut out to be.
But even when I cut that rope
and I set out to sea
you're goddamn right it's your place, honey,
that I want to be.
I've been so reckless with my heart.
I've had it broke again and again.
So I gathered up the parts,
made a stained glass window
you can let the sunshine in.
I just want to be your friend,
and when it dims we'll read
what's been there written in the stars.
I've been longing for a place
I'm never meant to know or see,
and I've been restless so long
that when I'm blessed it gets the best.
Even if this ain't my first choice,
it's where I'm gonna be
you're goddamn right it's your face, honey,
that I want to see.
Yes, goddamn right it's your face, honey
that I want to see.
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10. |
Reel It In
02:15
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Reel it in.
It's time to pull it back again.
Violins
hear it scratching at the strings.
On the fence
over and then back again
You know the funny part
is that an open heart
is such a hollow thing.
When I ply my art
it's just a course on a chart
that I've been following.
Oh I've got to give it a name
and take the reins
or let it lay in my dreams.
Or so it seems.
Reel it in.
Feel it as it gathers in,
saddled with
just exactly what it means.
On the fence
over and then back again.
You know the funny part
is that it broke my heart
before my heart was beating.
That's why it's in my blood.
That's why it shades my love
when my love lies bleeding.
Oh I've got to give myself a name
and put a face
to all the flames I've been feeding.
It's not just a feeling.
It's all of my being. x 2
It's all I can be.
Reel it in.
You've got to pull it back again.
Violins
hear it scratching at the strings.
On the fence
over and then back again. x 3
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11. |
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After a hesitant hello
there really ain't much more to say.
What's been keeping me afloat
are the same things that keep me away.
Plain as the nose on my face
which, for the record, I can't really see,
I was born to be alone and in love
with a love that was never meant for me.
The crickets sing their lonesome songs,
or maybe they just sound lonesome to me.
I've been singing all night long,
and I know no one's been singing for me.
I can dream it all I want,
but, for the record, I'm still me in my dreams.
I was born to be alone and in love
with a love that was never meant for me.
I could be the best friend
that you ever had, baby,
or at least that the way that it seemed,
before I turned it all inside out
and started picking at the thread
in the seams.
It was plain as the nose on my face,
which, for the record, I can't really see.
I was born to be alone and in love
with a love that was never meant for me.
The crickets sing their lonesome songs,
or maybe they just sound lonesome to me.
I've been singing all night long,
and I know no one's been singing for me.
I can dream it all I want,
but, for the record, I'm still me in my dreams.
I was born to be alone and in love
with a love that was never meant for me.
I was born to be alone and in love
with a love that was never meant for me.
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12. |
My Dead-Eyed Thunder
01:58
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I give my love without hesitation.
I regret it later when I'm all alone
wound up tightly in my reservations.
All tied up with nowhere to go.
Catch a feeling. Catch a good vibration.
Catch me leaving as away I go.
Catch me if I fall into damnation.
Damned if I do and damned when you don't.
Who'll give a fuck about the fucks I've squandered?
Who'll want to wander when the wonder's gone?
Who'll want to climb beneath the rock I'm under?
Why do I always think about it when I'm all alone?
Watch me reeling in my dead eyed thunder.
I'm numb enough to never let it show,
and dumb enough to love the spell I'm under.
Owning up is easy 'til you try to bring it home.
I give my love without hesitation.
I regret it later when I'm all alone
wound up tightly in my reservations.
All tied up with nowhere to go.
Who'll give a fuck about the fucks I've squandered?
Who'll want to wander when the wonder's gone?
Who'll want to climb beneath the rock I'm under?
Owning up is easy 'til you try to bring it home.
Watch me reeling in my dead eyed thunder.
I'm numb enough to never let it show,
and dumb enough to love the spell I'm under.
Why do I always think about it?
Why can't I forget about it?
Maybe I can do without it.
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13. |
Set My Lazy Bones Free
02:53
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I've been mired in indecision.
I've been living out my lamest dreams.
Tomorrow isn't what I envisioned.
Yesterday was never what it seemed.
Beg your pardon for the imposition.
Be my darling. Be the one I need.
If you take my love don't let if go unmentioned.
If you don't, set my lazy bones free.
I wasn't feeling down
as it went down the drain.
I was sleeping sound
to the sound of the rain.
All around an immeasurable pain
was weighing down most everything.
All alone at the start of the thing:
the woesome song of the lonesome brain.
Minor tones 'neath the finer things.
The brighter side casts its shadows on the wall.
Beg your pardon for the imposition.
Be my darling. Be the one I need.
If you take my love don't let if go unmentioned.
If you don't, set my lazy bones free.
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14. |
The Queen of Swords
02:02
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On the night I drew the Queen of Swords
I toed the line between what's mine and yours.
We talked a while 'bout what we're dying for.
I sat wild-eyed on your floor
while you told me 'bout
the battles that you fought before.
Now you wonder what you're fighting for.
All that pain that won't be ignored.
All these things that should be adored.
All those prayers to an unseen Lord.
All my care and all my love
I lay gently at your door.
Now I show you what I'm fighting for.
On the night I drew the Queen of Swords
I saw it written plainly in the cards
and heard your name across a dozen years.
I sat wild-eyed on your floor
while you told me 'bout
the battles that you fought before.
And how you're under what you're fighting for.
All that pain that won't be ignored.
All these things that should be adored.
All those prayers to an unseen Lord.
All my care and all my love
I lay gently at your door.
Now I show you what I'm fighting for.
All that pain that won't be ignored.
All these things that should be adored.
Now I show you what I'm fighting for.
Now I show you what I'm fighting for.
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15. |
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Oh my heart! Oh my heart!
You've been so quiet down there in the dark.
Sometimes you tear my world apart.
Sometimes you're the only world I know.
Oh my God. Oh my Lord.
Love is always its own reward.
Loneliness is a broken sword.
Ain't that the way the story goes?
Oh my heart! Oh my heart!
You've been so quiet down there in the dark.
The blaze has died to down to the sparks,
but look at how those sparks glow.
Oh my Love. Oh my Light.
Up in the stars of the darkest night.
Between the bars in these songs I write,
I do battle with a worried ghost.
Oh my heart! Oh my heart!
You've been so quiet down there in the dark.
Sometimes you tear my world apart.
Sometimes you're the only world I know.
Oh my God. Oh my Lord.
Love is always its own reward.
Loneliness is a broken sword.
Ain't that the way the story goes?
Ain't that the way the story goes?
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Tawni Marshall Indianapolis, Indiana
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